HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICAAAAAH!!! Haha. Just thought I'd pop that in.

Grabbed this from my [seester]

- answer the questions below
- do a google image search with your answer
- take a picture from the first page of results
- don't copy the answers of the person who posted this before you


1. the age you'll be on your next birthday

B-24 Liberator. It was either this or the DVD cover of the series 24. Corny naman nun.

2. a place you'd like to travel

Angers, France. I was supposed to live and study for a year, but that's another story. ^^

3. your favorite place

Kopiroti wins over National Bookstore Cubao only coz I don't get to go to the latter often nowadays.

4. your favorite food

i heart eggplant/aubergines. among many others. i so heart vegetables.

5. your favorite animal

I am a lioness. Hear me ROR! Haha.. yeah I like lions.

6. your favorite color

Is a black burr! Haha. Got my 2nd favorite animal up there pa, so sulit!

7. first name of your significant other or crush

Had to work around the dead giveaway results on the first few google image runs... LoL

8. the town in which you live in

Makati! Get me some calamine lotion! (aka caladryl)

9. your screen name/nickname

hyperory - wow, this is still from my blogspot

10. your first job

Take a wild guess

11. a bad habit you have

Overthinking.
And it has the punning thrown in there for good measure, though I maintain that it's a TALENT.

12. your worst fear

Loss of passion.

Grabbed this from [Kenji]

These eyes hide behind big-ass glasses for a reason. Tingnan nga natin.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien -
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
>> I have a love/hate relationship with this series... (//_T)
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks >> I think i have a copy somewhere...
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
 >> Just to see if it ended differently from the movie. It didn't.... yuck.
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams >> OMG UTTER WOW
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland  >> oooooohyeah
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
>> only about a bazillion times... each time because i was sooooo bored.
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens >> on of these days, i WILL finish this
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
>> Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes...  TILL WE HAVE FACES is still his best tho
34 Emma - Jane Austen >> I've tried several times.. Sigh
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis>> Didn't I just say yes?
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres >> My sis keeps telling me to read this
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne >> awwww....
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery >> I have the entire 8-book series
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood >> So good
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding >> required reading in HS
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert >> on every geek's list. or at least it should be.
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth >> ooooh, nice title! i'll add it to the list
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley >> depressing... but brilliant
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
>> for all the wrong reasons. Read: Simpsons reference.
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding >> i think every girl has read this... and the sequel
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker >> back when i COULD read scary stuff
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath >> i hear this is good
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert >> only i find this in the original French
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White >> i haven't been able to find this!!!
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom (... meh) >> agree
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle >> fun!
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton >> enid blyton... sigh
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery >> i want the french version!
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
>> i'm planning a post-apocalyptic epic loosely based on characters from this,
so i HAVE to read it sooner or later
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Wow.. I'm not as nerdy as I thought I was...

Link to your list below!

If I owned my walls ( instead of just renting, as I do currently ),
they'd be covered with doodles and drawings and scribbles of...

1. All the things I'm thankful for, so if I'm about to go all emo, I just look at the wall and cheer up, because I'm just so blessed!
2. Biblical Promises to encourage, strengthen and motivate! It'll also be useful for hiding the Word in my heart (my memorization skills are pathetic)
3. My intercession list. The names of people I pray for. The secret to joy is to take the focus off yourself. He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed! ( I actually have a prayer wall already, but with post-its)
4. My hopes, dreams, desires. In really small handwriting because they're so many of them! I lift them all up to God, and I know that if I delight myself in Him, He will satisfy the desires of my heart with good things. Wheeee!!! Exciting!!!
   

Four Walls lang naman right?

On the ceiling I'll write the name of [....] Bwahahahahha!!!


Then again, none of us girls would mind having one of these leaning against our wall -->
( Yes, I posted this doodle "just because." He's a character from this funny little epic I wrote when I was 16. As you can see, back then my "type" was tall and lanky. Lmao )


Truth Thursday. Let the Truth set you Free.

Wasn't emo on Truth Thursday so here comes the emoness. ^_^

I was walking in Makati on Tuesday night and I caught myself about to make one of those soul-vows that go something like "I will never again [insert objectionable action here]."
The thing is, although these vows really do work (depending on your willpower I suppose, but this girl can force herself to go cold turkey on practically any addiction) and make you stronger, this strength is so selfish (self-centered, self-reliant, self-protective) that it tends to be brittle. Therein lies its weakness. Because it's all about you, you can only take yourself so far. And past a certain point, you break. And you still fall, and do precisely what you vowed you never would.
In other words, pride chicken lang yan.

So I've been learning...
that it's okay to be vulnerable.
that I don't have to have it "together" all the time.
that if I do keep it together it's not because I tried my flipping hardest,
but because I trust God to be my strength even if I'm really weak.

I posted recently that my worst fear is that I'll try and fly, but instead trip and fall flat on on my face, drag others down with me, and die before I can get back up.

But I've learned to trust that even if I do freefall, crash and burn, I can trust that God is Big enough to pick up the puddle that used to be me and transform it into a glorious Master-piece.

I haven't crashed and burned yet, but at least I can stop being so scared of it.
Or at least start to stop... LoL.

On that note, my OT reading today was Psalm 37. Swak, as usual.
Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him... (v3-7a)
If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm;
though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand. (v23-24)

It's only been 4 weeks of group counselling, and I'm learning so much already.
We live in a fallen world we have all been wounded by its imperfect elements and inhabitants. There's a lot of junk in our respective trunks, and dealing with all the crap early on is always good. 
I hope everyone gets the chance to do this.

Today was the ultimate bloggable day, so due to popular demand [i wish] here's another blow by blow rundown...

... 2:00am - Evicted. (LoL) Got carried away again sharing caffeine and geekiness. And soft batch cookies. Mmmm... I heart kopiroti.
2:20 - Back to work. "Just whistle while you work"
6:00 - Get to flat. Ring doorbell, Cousin Joy has my key. Good thing she was up already, and was actually wondering why I hadn't made it in yet.
6:30 - Bonding over breakfast. Learning a lot about the other side of my family... This is when I usually take my pre-counselling nap. Not today. Oh well, family and love come first.
8:30 - Twit : "On n0rth train 2 meet jen. 0 sleep, the z's hit me at 7am,when i had 2 get ready. Long EGR day. God is big enough!"
8:45 - Call Jen from Cubao Station, we're supposed to meet at GMA Kamuning stop. Find out she's sitting on the bench on the end of the train.
8:50 - GMA Kamuning station. No Jen on the benches! Train doors close, look for her in the car... Still no Jen
8:53 - Call Jen. "Where are you?" Miscommunication has ensued. She thought I was going out to meet her at the station, I thought she was going on the train. Plus she said she was at the end of the train. The train has TWO ends, we were at opposite ones. Jen says "Stay on Quezon Ave! Meet me on the end of the train, the mixed side"
9:00 - Get on the next train, Jen's there, keys in hand. 100% unedited gushing and sisterly affectioning while sitting side by side on round trip past North Ave to Quezon Ave. This is my stop.
9:10 - Triked to Campus Crusade National Office for group counselling session. First one there. Take the back door, the N.O. is supposed to be closed today, almost all the missionaries are at a retreat. Go up back stairs. Door is locked. Go down stairs, go up main stairs. Door is locked. Go to guard to go "M'aidez?" Go back up back stairs. Test door. It really is locked. Get phone out to call Counselor. 1 message in inbox. "Pls knock on the 2nd flr door so i wl open for u". D'oh! Knocked and OPEN SESAME. Nice.
9:15 - Set up in the counselling room. While peeps aren't here yet, will finish inking my illustrations. Look for coffee... Coffee maker is there but where's the pot? Counselor goes out to look for it. It's nowhere to be found! Am just about able to refrain from sobbing.
10:00 - We're supposed to start now, but the other counselees aren't here yet, just me and the 2 facilitators. Oh well. Still no coffee. *Heavy sigh* We start with the "How are you?."
I gush: I am greatness today. My lovetank is full and so this hormone-induced emotional rollercoaster is currently taking me up up up and away.
10:15 - We are a complete group. Session starts in earnest.
11:50 - As Counselee#3 is wrapping up, my eyes droop and I realize just how much I needed that morning coffee. Startled awake by the question "So what did you think?"
12:00nn - We're done. Trike to train station.
12:10 - Standing up on southbound train.
12:17 - Cubao station, free seat. Sat. Yay.  Twit: "after 12 post-midnight hrs sans coffee or sleep, am forced 2 recognize the value of each.. "
12:25 - Buendia station. Caught myself falling asleep, almost leaning on my seatmate's shoulder. Ohnoes... Buendia station na at least. Get off, jeep home.
12:26 - Yuck. Sitting next to sweaty man. Ewww... Wipe my arm. Set alarm on my phone, won't remember to do this later.
12:30 - Arrive at flat. Cousin Joy is lunching out, let myself in with Jen's key (yay!) Jammie time, sink to blissful sleep. 
4:00 - Doorbell rings. Let Joy in. Sink back to bed. Sleep.
4:30 - Alarm rings. Force myself awake. Lie on bed, willing myself awake. Not working. 
5:00 - Decide am in no state to go in to work yet. Take out sketches, inking will wake me up. It works!
6:58 - Twit: "finished my sketches, napped. now taking my cousin 2 swagat. Mmm.."
7:20 - Twit: "wow. Accidentally to0k the "scenic route" to swagat. shame.." My legendary sense of direction proves itself once again.
7:27 - Place our order at Swagat.
7:29 - Twit: "Eeek, forgot sumthng impt at my flat going back 2 get it. Sleeplessness = not go0d."
7:45 - Back in my place. Pick up the inked stuff due for scanning. Slaps own forehead. D'uh!
8:00 - Just walked in, am sweaty in Swagat. Twit: "phew! 2day is such a bloggable day.. And so i will." Start the chow down.
8:20 - Ken drops by to pick up sketchies, stays to chat.
10:10 - Wow, how time flies!
10:30 - Arrive at the office, get pulled into a meeting with company president and the new part-time sales girl. Hear new angles to the story of how Cambria started, plus how Dick met his wife. ^_^
10:57 - Twit: "just got in the office and i can't even get away from his name.."
11:00 - Just whistle while you work...

3 wishes

I wish I could store this day in bubble wrap or immortalize it in a music video, in a webcomic, in an animated short... a blog entry will do for now.

I wish I could see everyone the way I see you, in the light of Psalm 139 and God's promise, plan and design.

I wish I could have 3 more wishes.

Truth Thursday. Let the truth set you free.

  I remember this scene all too well..

To all students out there... my condolences to the horrors waiting for you.

Buwahahahaha!

I saw this on my sister's blog, and of course I had to try it.
What is it about internet tests? They're freakishly accurate! LoLz

Groundbreaking Thinker (GT)

(Just visiting? Take the free test and determine your personality type!)

Groundbreaking Thinkers are charming, enthusiastic persons. They really bubble over with energy and like to take centre stage. They love variety both professionally and privately. Groundbreaking Thinkers tackle changes consistently with their optimism and firm belief in their own abilities; they are always on the look-out for improvement possibilities. Their excellent communication skills are of great advantage to them here. They approach the world with curiosity and openness and master new situations with a great deal of talent for improvising and with resourcefulness. Their spare time is taken up with a large number of hobbies; most Groundbreaking Thinkers like to travel in order to gather as many different impressions as possible. This personality type is unbeatable at discovering new possibilities.

In their work, Groundbreaking Thinkers highly rate challenges and diversified tasks. They cannot stand routine and too detailed work. They love to astound others with bold ideas for an original, new project and then leave it up to the others to implement them. Hierarchies, rules and regulations arouse their opposition and they love outsmarting the system. It is vital to them that they enjoy their work; if this is the case, they quickly become pure workaholics. Their creativity best takes effect when they work independently; but they are very good at motivating others and infecting them with their optimistic nature. Conceptual or advisory activities appeal especially to Groundbreaking Thinkers. It can happen that some people feel somewhat duped by their flexible, spontaneous nature.

Their sociability and enterprise ensure that Groundbreaking Thinkers always have a large circle of friends and acquaintances in which activity plays an important role. As they are mostly in a good mood, they are popular and very welcome guests. Grumbling and peevishness are unknown to them. However, they do tend to be a little erratic and unstable when it comes to obligations and this makes them appear to be unreliable to some. Groundbreaking Thinkers are very critical and demanding when it comes to picking a partner because they look for the ideal relationship and have a very concrete picture of this ideal relationship. Mutual aims in life are very important to them. They do not like compromising and would rather remain alone. For the partner, it is often a challenge to have a long-term relationship with a Groundbreaking Thinker. Groundbreaking Thinkers need a lot of space and diversity or otherwise they become bored and feel cramped. Types who are rather more traditionalistic often have problems with the willingness of Groundbreaking Thinkers to take risks and their often crazy, spontaneous actions. However, if one can summon up sufficient flexibility and tolerance for them, one will never be bored in their presence and will always have a loyal and faithful partner.

Adjectives which describe your type

extroverted, theoretical, logical, spontaneous, rational, innovative, intellectual, open, independent, curious, enterprising, analytical, clever, enthusiastic, venturesome, inventive, energetic, sociable, optimistic, non-conformist, creative, freedom-loving, charming, able to get enthusiastic, self-confident, communicative, capricious, inconsistent, outgoing

It started when I was taking the mickey out of the Arnean dude-pare-man-bro-chong-tol boys, but the word has wormed its way into my everyday vocab, and now, duuude...
I've been using the word "dude" way too much these days.

LoL. I heart Pearls before Swine.

I first saw you when I was looking for the haka on youtube... You led the New Zealand All Blacks in the traditional war dance against South Africa (sorry Leo T) to "kick off" a game your team would win. I had a hard time picking my jaw off the floor. You were... spectacular.

Women's beauty is best displayed in rest. Men are at their best... in motion. Maybe it's the military brat in me, but I think rugby and martial arts are the pinnacles of masculine "beauty." The sheer strength and brutality of these activities are so... wow. Add to that the rhythm and grace (yes, grace!) of the haka... <Fans self>

Thank you, Lord, for Tana Umaga. Lolz.

Yun lang.
I miss watching rugby. ^____^

I want to do be able to touch my toes.

I want to live in France for a season.

I want to complete my CS Lewis and Terry Pratchett collections.

I want to get a real bear hug.

I want to be pleasantly surprised.

I want to grow better, not just older

I want to get rid of this albatross hanging from my neck.
I don't even know where it came from or how it died. Did I kill it?

I want to cease the subtle self-flagellation.

I want to enjoy the moment.
I want to stop anticipating failure, disappointment or yet another mangling.

I want to dream again.

I want to see that the world has become a better place because I lived.

I want to want God more.

I want to be more excited for the Word.
I want to live the Gospel, not just preach it.
I want to delight God, and recognize His smile.
I want to hear His voice more clearly.
I want to go to Heaven.

I want to shine.

I want to make peace with my reflection.

I want to shut up. And listen.

I want to be wanted.

I want to love you.


Truth Thursday. Let the truth set you free.

"The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today
Is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips
Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable."

Is this one for the people? Is this one for the Lord?
Or do I simply serenade for things I must afford?
You can jumble them together, my conflict still remains
Holiness is calling, in the midst of courting fame
Cause I see the trust in their eyes
Though the sky is falling
They need Your love in their lives
Compromise is calling

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble, what if I fall?

Father please forgive me for I can not compose
The fear that lives within me
Or the rate at which it grows
If struggle has a purpose on the narrow road you've carved
Why do I dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar
Do they see the fear in my eyes? Are they so revealing?
This time I cannot disguise all the doubt I'm feeling

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?

What if I stumble?
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that
You're up against a wall, it's about to fall
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that


My biggest fear is not lifelong singleness (and saving my first kiss for nothing), not losing my job, not poverty or persecution.

My biggest fear is that I will stumble and miss out on God's best as a consequence.
That I will fall and drag others down with me.

Another day of emoness, salty coffee and wads of used kleenex. Sigh...
Slow by slow...

I haven't  seen her in a while, but my false-alarm-panic-girl persona made an appearance over the weekend when I couldn't find my beloved journal (and cathartic lifeline). I found it in the end so was able to breathe again.

It's one of those days that I'm being a bit... emo. And not the happy kind either.

So today, my coffee was a little salty. And I ran out of kleenex.

*Sigh*

4 months. 16 weeks... "Slow by slow, in the long of time, you will arrival there."

S'all good though. Tomorrow I will drown myself in francophilia. Yay!

13th French Film Festival
11-22 June 2008 :: Edsa Shangri-La Plaza

Wednesday June 11
Opening Night - By Invitation
7:30pm – Un baiser s'il vous plait (1.40)

Thursday June 12 – Tribute to Philippine Cinema Night
12:00pm – Changement  d’adresse (1.25)
2 :00pm – Je crois que je l’aime (1.30)
4 :30pm – Serbis
7 :00pm – Now Showing (4:00)

Friday 13 June
12 :30pm - Clean (1.40)
3 :00pm - Qui m’aime me suive (1.40)
5 :30pm - Ma vie en l’air (1.45)
8:00pm - Changement   d’adresse (1.25)

Saturday 14 June
12 :30pm - Ah si j’étais riche (1.45)
3 :00pm - Clean (1.40)
5 :30pm - Qui m’aime me suive (1.40)
8:00pm - Je crois que je l’aime (1.30)

Sunday 15 June
12 :30pm - Ah si j’étais riche (1.45)
3 :00pm - Qui m’aime me suive (1.40)
5 :30pm - Clean (1.40)
8:00pm - Changement  d’adresse (1.25)

Monday 16 June
12 :30pm - Je crois que je l’aime (1.30)
3 :00pm - Ma vie en l’air (1.45)
5 :30pm - Changement  d’adresse (1.25)
8:00pm - Ah si j’étais riche (1.45)

Tuesday 17 June
12 :30pm - Clean (1.40)
3 :00pm - Changement  d’adresse (1.25)
5 :30pm - Roman de gare (1.43)
8:00pm - Qui m’aime me suive (1.40)

Wednesday 18 June
12 :30pm - Je crois que je l’aime (1.30)
3 :00pm - Ma vie en l’air (1.45)
5 :30pm - Changement  d’adresse (1.25)
8:00pm - Ah si j’étais riche (1.45)

Thursday 19 June
12 :30pm - Les chansons d’amour (1.35)
3 :00pm - Ah si j’étais riche (1.45)
5 :30pm - Qui m’aime me suive (1.40)
8:00pm - Ma vie en l’air (1.45)

Friday 20 June
12 :30pm - Changement  d’adresse (1.25)
3 :00pm - Qui m’aime me suive (1.40)
5 :30pm - Les chansons d’amour (1.35)
8:00pm - Je crois que je l’aime (1.30)

Saturday 21 June
12 :30pm - Roman de gare (1.43)
3 :00pm - Ma vie en l’air (1.45)
5 :30pm - Les chansons d’amour (1.35)
8:00pm - Je crois que je l’aime (1.30)

Sunday 22 June
12 :30pm - Les chansons d’amour (1.35)
3 :00pm - Ah si j’étais riche (1.45)
5 :30pm - Clean (1.40)
8:00pm - La Môme (2.20)


To view the film details, click [ here ]
I've added highlights to the screenings I want to see, for those of you want to "accidentally" bump into me. LoL. Kita kits!!

Jordan the dreamer recently replied to one of my posts:
my concept of eternal life is that it is not something that we wait for but something that is already here and now and there inside our hearts... "eternity is planted in hearts" -ecclesiastes this way... there's no concept of toiling... no concept of waiting... no concept of lacking... but all about believing in the amazing and bodaciously extravagant now!!!

And that got me thinking (or rather overthinking, as usual):

I remember talking to a student at IGSL who used to be not just a Tibetan monk, but a scribe to the Dalai Lama. Athough he's a Christian now, because of his years of Buddhist training, he lives very much in the NOW, not thinking too much about the future or dwelling on the past. Wish I could too.

It's early days into my shrinkage. We're focusing on tracing histories and seeing how damage received in the past still affects the way we see the world and how we live in it. Even on a simpler level, looking back at some events, conversations, encounters during the last couple of weeks, I slap my forehead and wish I could have spoken or behaved differently.

And then there's looking forward to.. stuff. Sometimes I wonder if we cheat ourselves of enjoying "right now" for the sake of delayed gratification, a phrase and principle my father instilled in me when I was seven over a P20 pencil case. Sure, we're supposed to live everyday in the light of eternity, but perhaps some of us are overdoing it: Tightening our belts in anticipation for tomorrow's buffet, not knowing we won't be able to go at all.

I'm loving current season of being exactly where God wants me to be, of enjoying His presence and His blessings, and of... "becoming." Still, I realize I sometimes miss out on right now while I ponder (more like daydream) upon the future. To 4 months from now to be precise.
When I will be well-shrunk (as in the past tense of "to shrink") and hopefully a few pounds lighter in my heart (and in my hips din sana! LoL).
When I will be free from my prohibition from major life decisions. Although by then I doubt the decision I want to make will still be available for the making, but that's a whole other can of worms.
When I will be a more peaceful, patient, compassionate, and loving person. Sana nga. Sigh... As much as I love Peter (he rocks!) I wish he hadn't written this: Instead, [beauty] should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. (1 Peter 3:4 NIV) Ouch. In Bisaya, "Agay."

It's all about BECOMING. My favorite French philosophe Gabriel Marcel wrote that we are "homo viator," man on the way, or a person in the process of becoming... But what are we becoming?
We Christians are called to become like Christ. Wow.

None of us are "there" yet, and in the meantime there's a divine discontentment driving us,  it keeps us pressing on towards the finish line and the prize to which we have been called. The tough part is finding the balance of being content whatever the circumstance while not being so comfortable that we just sit and stagnate. We need to keep up our momentum, keep growing upwards and onwards, from glory to glory, strength to strength, faith to faith, to infinity and beyond!

And while doing all that, we (I'm talking to you, Ror) need to live each moment to the fullest, sucking the marrow out of life, and not missing out on the joys of today, of right now!
For His mercies are new every morning!!! We won't ever run out!

Just a taste of the pep talk I give myself every morning. Ang saya!

I'm planning to spend 2-3 whole days in Shang over the next 2 weekends to catch EVERY SINGLE movie on this list :http://tinyurl.com/3z6dxc

Except maybe "La Mome" the Edith Piaf movie, because I have that already.

During the week, i might even catch the earliest shows for some of them (those that will end before 5)...

Anyone want to come with?!?! Text/message me lang.

Je suis francophile!!! Regardez ces filmes avec moi! Nous aurons beaucoup de rires!
(Je pense que j'ai fait beaucoup d'erreurs... LoL)

when you have ADHD
        and thumbs that hate to twiddle
                        the hardest thing to do
                                    is to just sit still and

                                                                        w a i t

                                                                                    when all you want to do
                                                                                                is grab the steering wheel
                                                                                                         even if you have no idea how to drive...

But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31 NCV)

Kung Fu Panda key phrase: "illusion of control."

Twitter text updates weren't working today <sniff> so here are my highlights:

1am - Woke up after 5 hours of sleep. Tried to get back to sleep.
3:33am - Woke up again. Tried to get back to sleep.
4am - Still awake. So I took out my journal and spent time with God, mostly asking him to knock me out and let me get back to sleep.
5am - Gave up on sleeping for the moment. Wrote a 5-page letter on Powerpuff Girl stationary to a nameless faceless person.
6am - Tried to get back to sleep.
10:30am - Woke up. Decent enough hour to stay awake. I'm not going to make the 11am service at VCF Fort so decided to try the 12:30 service at UCM.
12:30nn - Haven't gone to a conservative service in a while... I kinda missed this.
2pm - Saw some Station1 peeps, went "Yo." Went to grab lunch at Legaspi Sunday market with Yvette and her friends. It was late, so around 3 food vendors left... Mostly pork/beef dishes. Sigh. Ooooh! A vegetarian stall is still here! Got red rice + veggie burgers. Back at Yvette's table, I realize something's missing... Flavor! Guess this meal will have to wait till I get home and take out my secret weapon: Frank's hot sauce, lime&chili flavor!
3pm - Considering whether or not I should do grocery shopping. My pantry is so empty. Nah... I'll nap instead.
6pm - Woke up refreshed. Planned outfit to Gospel House party. Checked on siblings if they were still alive (Parents still at a retreat in Tagaytay) and coming with me.
7pm - Got all kikay. Wore emo-bunny top, matching earrings, black leggings, my knee-high black chuck-wannabes, and bass guitar bag. Wrote a sappy-emo poem while waiting for sister to arrive.
8pm - Waited for sister and Doos at kopiroti. Nursed 2 iced kopi-Cs (with evap milk, no sugar). Chev arrived, got herself tea tarik and toast. Poor Doos still driving around, just a little lost in Makati...
8.20pm - Headed over Warehouse 135 to meet Doos. Found out somehow that our names were not on guest list, despite confirmation message. Decided to just go walking and fooding around the area instead.
8:40pm - Got Chevy a drink at Ministop. Doos calls. "Come back! You can come in na!" We go "No thanks... we're good." Clubbing's not our scene anyway. Sister and I just thought we'd "try before we die." Chev got a newspaper about her campus, UP Diliman, she is in semi-angst. Head over to Sango. Hope it's open.
9pm - Wow, Sango is open and the red lights are off. Wheee!!! Treat Chevy to fish burger and vanilla shake, I have a salad and green tea shake. Mmmmm... Pointed out the DJ Ozma video Leo and I saw on Friday. Leo can so pull off those moves! Chev agrees with me. I heart Leo. ^___^
9:24pm - Show my sister the super toilet at Sango (it's got a control panel!!!). Emote over how whenever I am in supreme gorgeousness mode no one's there to appreciate... Huhuhuuu.
10pm - Head over to my place. Chev and I listen to my new music (which I hardly ever listen to) while I try to restore some semblance of order to my ravaged closet.
12mn - Parents pick us up. Twice cousin Pia (she's our first and second cousin) just arrived from Seattle. Point out Metro Manila landmarks (malls, malls, more malls) on the way to IGSL.
12:30 - Settle down at home. Enjoy luverly wifi (just set up last weekend) and post this.