Twin practically shoved the book "Love, Stargirl" onto my lap, so I read. And, as predicted, I liked.

She already paraphrased the best part so I won't try to improve on greatness. Here it is:

Dear You,

I’m not going to ask you where you are now. I’m not going to be impatient. This season, I will inhabit one day at a time. I will sail into the future on mystery’s wings and I will not look back. I have been too much like the man who asks, “Are you looking for me?” Our hearts yearn backward. We long to be found, hoping our searchers have not given up and gone home. But I no longer hope to be found. Do not follow me! Let’s just be fabulously where we are and who we are. You be you and I’ll be me, today and today and today, and let’s trust the future to tomorrow. Let the stars keep track of us. Let us ride our own orbits and trust that they will meet. May our reunion be not a finding but a sweet collision of destinies!

Until that time you can call me yours, I remain,
*Me*

(Lifted and adapted by Stef from the last paragraph of Jerry Spinelli’s Love, Stargirl)

I SO get that right now. The flutterbyes might have to go into stasis again.
We'll just have to wait and see.

Truth Thursday is over, now it's the wee hours of Fragile Friday. Haha...
For years I've been saying, "you don't have to fall down a cliff to know that it hurts to hit bottom."

Twin told me earlier that "Unless you try falling off a cliff, you'll never find out if you can actually fly."
God's glory needs to be displayed in my life. That means I need to get over these fears which are rational and very real, but are hindering me from living the most out of each day because I'm so scared that bad things will happen to me. So like Twin reminded me, when bad things don't happen after all, I can't be sure if it's God protecting me, or it's me protecting myself, maneuvering out of risky situations using my own strength. Again.

But, Lord, so many people are watching! Not that I care what you think of me (okay, maybe I do a little), but I don't want to be a stumbling block to anyone. Specially as my parents have been showing me off me to other parents struggling with their respective bratlets as an example of a problem child in the past doing great now, 100% glory to God.

And everyone knows I've been... waiting.

Sigh.

I've always valued purity. I've lived passionately for purity since I was 16 and it -- or at least the theoretical, abstract and idealized concept -- has kept me safe and "whole" (a bit bruised but nonetheless unbroken) up to now.

But then I just remembered that purity is not what you do or don't do. IT'S WHO YOU ARE when you dwell in Christ, because He makes you so. I just need to keep my eyes on Jesus, the purest one of all. I have given him my very best, as best I understand it. And I can TRUST Him to protect my testimony, if I stay sensitive and in tune with Him. Because it's His name tattooed on my life and my heart and my everything. Wisdom is key.

So I'm growing up... slowly, but surely. And certainly a LOT since April. Thailand was a good vision trip...

And so like the rest of the fellow pilgrims on the road to paradise, I resolve that I'm going to keep going and living passionately AND TO THE FULLEST for what God has for me. Aware of the danger but in faith that God will pull through for me and His will and His glory will be displayed. It will probably be clumsy, NOT pretty, but always honestly and intensely. No games, no fakery, no subterfuge. I couldn't pull it off anyway, even if I tried. My everything gives me away.

This is so not by the book...
That's okay. I'll write another one.

A little note to girls everywhere:
Remember that you are a PRINCESS. You are worth waiting for, fighting for, growing up for, becoming a better man for. Don't allow any guy to treat you as if you are less. Our Daddy in Heaven can whoop his ass good. (Yes, Lord, smite him and bring him to his knees!!! Bwahahhaha!!!)

I want my man like I want my coffee: Strong, Intense, Full-bodied. ^____^

My "coffee=love list" basically just spins off from those three things. I have several more but as I was listing them down they were either redundant or would require explanations only a pedant would appreciate. That phrase is fun, funny and true, and it's one of the many things twin and I have in common.

Now there are wishlists, which can be looong and unrealistic (kaya nga wish lang sha) and there are non-negotiable absolutes. I had a talk with my dad about my non-negotiables recently. We narrowed it down to 3. ^_^

I've been hemming and hawing about actually publishing this. But my friends have been pestering me to get it online, so might as well get on with it. I mean, Jen, my beloved sister in Christ, discipler at one point, and now bride on whom I will serve in my capacity as maid of honor (made of horror more like) come February next year, posted her "list" in her old xanga blog (remember xanga?) a few years back. Her fiance, Leo, read it even before they met face to face. I have to ask him what he thought then, but knowing him now I can safely say that he fulfills the criteria very well. And now they're getting married!!!

So what have I got to lose right? Bwahahah.

Anyway here are the big three:

1. His life mission/vision statement is: "To live in God's presence and to live out His purpose" (or something along those lines. The point is not the wording, it's the living)
2. Communication - We use the same sort of language, keep up with each other's tangent thoughts, get each other's jokes (yes the ones no one else appreciates. and for the record, i'm not corny, my jokes have hidden depth that only the most gifted of people appreciate!!!)
3. His calling is not incompatible to mine. Partnering with each other wouldn't make sense otherwise, right?

As for my wishlist (under serious R&D since 2000), I'll keep it to myself for now. It's hidden away somewhere safe. ^_^
One all-encompassing word though: SOLID.

Dominic Purcell, if you're reading this, I'll consider tweaking the list for you! ROFL

I was just appreciating recently the silly little things we single people enjoy in living solo. Here's my top 10:

10. SCHEDULE FREEDOM! Getting home at odd hours without needing to apologize, going on spur-of-the-moment road trips with other BSGs
9. Not having to do the cleaning up immediately
8. Having coffee/dinner/movie with a friend of the opposite sex without any weirdness
7. Hogging the bed, not worrying about snoring
6. Experimenting on dishes using whatever's in the fridge/pantry without worrying that you'll kill someone else with your cooking
5. Playing dress-up -- never grows old (^____^)
4. Happy-Silly-Dancing  around in your pjs/underwear/...etc
3. ALL THE CLOSET SPACE IS MINE, MINE, MINE!!!
2. Uninterrupted quiet/worship time with God
1. Thinking up qualifiers for the sentence: "I like my coffee like I like my man..."

Good Friday 2008. The newly-formed BSG (Blissfully Single Gals = Anj + Stef + Rory) go out on a road trip to Batangas (all the way to Pico de Loro) and Tagaytay.

It was one of those perfect days you have, when you don't have a schedule or an agenda, and you're out on the open road of life (literally speaking and otherwise) with people you can be yourself with. And trust enough to wear a swimsuit with. And sing your lungs out with. A rare gem of a day, and I'm glad I ducked out of other obligations to just... "be."

Oh, and I hadn't slept that night, and when I did manage to start falling into the blissful emptiness of sleep, my drift got interrupted by a 5am call from.. someone. Basta. Anyway, lets just say I was not the usual bright, hyperactive, sunny, perky and quirky hypeRory. I was still Rory albeit in happy but woozy, spaced out, and bangag mode. Not zombie mode though, thankfully, because Anj and Stef are just so ALIVE.

We had loads of adventures on the road, including Anj+Ror's first trip to Stef's house in Imus:
two perpetually-lost girls trying to find the way to foreign territory so early in the morning, with just a set of hopefully-100%-correct (they weren't) directions in a text message. This is a perfect formula for one of those horribly cheap 'n' cheesy teen slasher flicks that I never watch, but thankfully we made it anyway.

We generated a healthy collection of quotable quotes on the way, and here are some:

• "Life is like a road trip. Sometimes you lose sight of the beach."
  
  
• "That sign says turn left, but the text says turn right... Let's trust Stef's directions."
  
  
• "We're gonna die!!" --screamed while trying to take our emo-and-on-the-road music videos (Here's one video clip, care of Stef.)
  
  
• "Single life is like the Pico de Loro: beautiful but still under construction"
  
  
• "Shiva Shu-shu" --> Anj's many-armed corporation, given by Stef, named by Ror
  
  
• "I'm that rich, I could have given you the sky had you wanted"
  
  
• "What's sizzling buko go-od?" -- Stef has a rare ditz moment
  
  
• "...More of the night before..."
  
  
• "This is a worship service in a cup." -- Rory enjoying her cuppa coco from Bag o' Beans
  
  
• "Life is a curved road - Sometimes you're so close to the moon and sometimes it hides behind the trees."

More BSG updates to follow!

Lord, thankyou for the food...

I just finished my first month living solo in Makati, I finally attempted to cook for myself for the first time after ten months of enjoying other people's superior cuisine. Let's just say that praying for the food has taken on a whole new meaning.

Old Prayer: "Lord, thank you for the food set before us, bless this as we partake of it. Let this food nourish and strengthen our bodies. Bless also the hands that prepared this. Amen."

New Prayer: "Lord, thank you for giving me money to buy this food. Bless this, let this nourish and strengthen me. Protect me from harm, danger, and food poisoning, and my own lack of culinary skills. Amen."

I've been living alone since my 2nd year of university. I spent my freshman year with a family that my cousin's cousin (3 years my senior) had been living with for 5 years. Anyway, I have long appreciated the fact that living alone has a lot of perks, which in set theory, would probably have a lot of elements in common with the Singledom-Perks set. A few examples: No curfew, no external dietary restrictions, no external distractions, no arguments about who left the toilet seat up and being able to burst into song and/or dance out of nowhere, laughing at my own jokes (which very few people do anyway)...

I lived in a "managed" students' unit (translation: condo-style dormitory), and now that I live in a "grown up" studio unit, I've discovered a few differences:
(1) Now I pay association dues and the water bill, and
(2) I have to clean my own place, floors, toilets and all. 
But all in all, my studio is really a blessing, as well as all the stuff inside.

Short Backstory:  For the benefit of my non-Pinoy friends reading this, Filipino parents usually want their children to live at home until they get married. My parents are progressive: they gave me my freedom and kicked me out. Lovingly, of course.

So, Yay!
After 6 months of living with my family again after five years of independence, I needed my own space again. I mean, I couldn't love my family any more, but... I'll leave it at that. Those of you who have relatives know what I mean. (Yes, you.)

When I started work the 1st of October 2008, I also started trawling through the online and paper ads for places to rent. I found a few potentials, but those I'd have had to share with others, and no one was ready to commit, either to leaving the family nest, or to living with me. Anyway, then I found this studio unit at Star Centrum, talked to the broker, found out the rates were really low for the area (right in the heart of the nation's central business district) and put down a deposit before the end of December.

Around the same time, I also spotted an ad on craigslist for a blue Ikea clothes cabinet, so I arranged a looksee. Turns out an expat couple (English lady, American man, sunburnt kids) were moving to China after 10 years in the Philippines, and were trying to sell as much stuff as they could because they couldn't ship EVERYTHING they had. I ended up buying the cabinet, a desk with chair, a side table, a chest of drawers (all from Ikea) and a suede sofabed from BoConcept (only a year old and bought originally for around P30,000) all for P17,000. Great buy huh?

It was really an answered prayer because I was starting from scratch -- my student dorm was fully furnished and the only thing I had was an electric kettle, a camping stove, a small fridge, my clothes, and boxes of books. Since moving in I've bought a brand spankin' new air conditioning unit, a super space saving shoe rack, a microwave,  a rice cooker that makes you go "kawai!" on sight, a 16-piece Corelle set I'm adding to my own dowry, an airbed, and a ton of space-saving goodies from JapanHome (my new favorite place, where everything sells for P55 or P88!). And, yes, practically everything I've bought was second-hand or on sale. When you're a military brat, you learn quickly how to be frugal.

Next projects: BOOKSHELVES, a "real" stove, a breakfast maker (this really cool gadget that has a coffee maker, toaster AND fryer!), a foldway table and foldaway chairs (for when I have guests, max of 2 hehe), and I should be set for the rest of my life!

Here's to flying solo! (Sabay toast from my wine-in-a-box) Cheers!