Can you imagine yourself as the nun that is sitting at her desk grading these papers, all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure?
Pay special attention to the wording and spelling. If you know the Bible, even a little,you'll find this hilarious! It comes from a Catholic Elementary school test, so these were the answers given by children. They have not been retouched or corrected.
1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE,
GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM AND EVE WERE
CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE.
NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AN ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN
PEARS.
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A
PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A
BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH
UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5.
SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY
A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE
AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS
BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL
DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO
MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
9. THE
FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN
EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT
ADMIT ADULTERY.
11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED
CANADA . THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE
BATTLE OF GERITOL.
12. THE
GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN
JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT
PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE
FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700
PORCUPINES. 15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE
MAGNA CARTA.
16. WHEN THE THREE
WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN
IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
18. ST. JOHN THE
BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO
DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED
A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.
20.IT WAS A
MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND
MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE
12 DECIBELS.
22. THE
EPISTELS WERE THE
WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
23.ONE OF THE
OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A
TAXIMAN.
24. ST. PAUL
CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED
HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED
MONOTONY.
